Inadequate

Other students scare me. I feel like every single one of them is better than me and cleverer than me and they're all going to get a first and I'm going to fail. They sit in the 'social room' before an exam with the fucking book of highlighted notes they've prepared reading and reading and memorising and revising when they fucking know it all already. One girl today sat for 40 minutes solid writing essay plans over and over again, like she was in a trance. She wasn't even thinking about it, it was all just pouring out of the pen and onto the paper without her trying. I sit with them, glancing over my my small collection of hastily scribbled notes, trying to learn it all in the half an hour I have left before the exam. One girl made me feel better because I heard her talk about taking Pro Plus at 3am. She's my kind of person. I'm sure she still did better than me today. I am absolutely exhausted. It is 6:20pm and I have another exam in 15 hours, 40 minutes. And as it stands, I know fuck all. 15 hours to learn it. Can I do it? I have to.

I hate this. I honestly, absolutely, 100%, hate this. I can't wait until it's over.