I Survived
Well, I handed my dissertation in. On time! With about 15 minutes to spare.
I will never do anything like that again. I don't have it in me. There's nothing I'm interested enough in to go through that again for. Nothing that I've found so far, anyway. I don't know how people write things like that, things much bigger than that, through choice. It was nothing compared to papers I'm sure people have to write for postgrad courses and things but to me it was nearly impossible. I couldn't even be arsed reading it through before I handed it in. I got a copy bound for myself, because I am proud of myself for having written it, and I've already noticed about 4 different sentences with extra words in them that don't completely make sense. Oh well. I'm thinking 2:2, which is alright (ish) by me. I can't get over the fact that it's finished, done, bound and handed in. I've done it, and I'm so pleased. I actually believe now that I'm going to have an honours degree this summer. I don't think I'm going to fuck up any more. It's such a weight off my shoulders.
I love it after exams are over or I've just handed an essay in and I'm sitting watching TV, and I have that guilty feeling deep down in my stomach until I remind myself that I can watch TV for as long as I want. I woke up this morning and panicked because I didn't know what time it was, and then I realised that it doesn't matter what time it is. The same happened last night when I was watching Love Actually in bed and I realised it was 1:30am and I was like 'Oh my god I should be ASLEEP!' but then I remembered it didn't matter. I sat in a cafe yesterday for 2 hours trying to take as long as possible to eat my lentil soup and macaroni comfort food, reading Cosmo, waiting for my dissertation to be ready at the printing and binding place, and it just felt fantastic to be able to do something other than my dissertation without feeling guilty. Although I would've so much rather have been at home in bed, but anything's better than the library. My legs were swollen all last week from so long sitting at the same fucking computer for days on end in that place. I've probably got a blood clot.
Although, having said all that, classes start back on Monday. And I'll need to get a job now that I no longer have my dissertation as an excuse. On the plus side, I've managed to tidy my room, do some washing, and I finally feel like having sex again. Yipee.
I will never do anything like that again. I don't have it in me. There's nothing I'm interested enough in to go through that again for. Nothing that I've found so far, anyway. I don't know how people write things like that, things much bigger than that, through choice. It was nothing compared to papers I'm sure people have to write for postgrad courses and things but to me it was nearly impossible. I couldn't even be arsed reading it through before I handed it in. I got a copy bound for myself, because I am proud of myself for having written it, and I've already noticed about 4 different sentences with extra words in them that don't completely make sense. Oh well. I'm thinking 2:2, which is alright (ish) by me. I can't get over the fact that it's finished, done, bound and handed in. I've done it, and I'm so pleased. I actually believe now that I'm going to have an honours degree this summer. I don't think I'm going to fuck up any more. It's such a weight off my shoulders.
I love it after exams are over or I've just handed an essay in and I'm sitting watching TV, and I have that guilty feeling deep down in my stomach until I remind myself that I can watch TV for as long as I want. I woke up this morning and panicked because I didn't know what time it was, and then I realised that it doesn't matter what time it is. The same happened last night when I was watching Love Actually in bed and I realised it was 1:30am and I was like 'Oh my god I should be ASLEEP!' but then I remembered it didn't matter. I sat in a cafe yesterday for 2 hours trying to take as long as possible to eat my lentil soup and macaroni comfort food, reading Cosmo, waiting for my dissertation to be ready at the printing and binding place, and it just felt fantastic to be able to do something other than my dissertation without feeling guilty. Although I would've so much rather have been at home in bed, but anything's better than the library. My legs were swollen all last week from so long sitting at the same fucking computer for days on end in that place. I've probably got a blood clot.
Although, having said all that, classes start back on Monday. And I'll need to get a job now that I no longer have my dissertation as an excuse. On the plus side, I've managed to tidy my room, do some washing, and I finally feel like having sex again. Yipee.
posted by Pixie at 4:44 pm
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