Over.

It's a bit scary to have literally fuck all to do with the rest of my life. I need to get a job. Urgently. Fly to la US of A in like 5 weeks and I couldn't even pay for 1 night in a hostel at the moment. I need a job. And a new credit card.

Taxi

I got a taxi down to the vet because I wanted to see my cat one last time before they put him down. I hadn't been expecting to have to do that and I was trying not to cry in the taxi but not really succeeding.

"Do you work at the vet?" asked the driver.

"No"

"What are you going down for then?"

*sniff* "I just need to see the vet"

"I take my dogs there"

"Oh"

"So...you do work there?"

"No"

"Well why are you going down to the vet?"

*voice shaky* "I just need to see the vet"

"Oh, right" *pause* "Aye but do you work there?"

"No"

*another pause* "Because I was going to say, my dog, he's a year old now"

"Oh" *actually crying now*

"And his, you know, testicle. It hasn't dropped.

*silence*

"That's £2.60, thanks"

Thunder, Lightning, STRIKE

One of my favourite things to do is lie in bed curled under the blankets and listen to the rain. I'm warm and comfortable but outside it's hellish. There's a thunder storm right now. The rain is literally pouring from the sky. I'm in bed with the blinds open so I can see the lightning and the TV is down low so I can hear the rain and the thunder. I love it.

Uh Oh

Can't breathe can't breathe can't breathe exam in 2 hours can't breathe can't breathe. Oh fuck. I'm really so badly deeply in the shit with this one. Whhhhhy do I do it every time? It's not funny this time. I remember a month ago I planned to start studying. To get organised. Fast forward a whole month and I've done fuck all. Now it's the day OF MY FIRST EXAM and I could not be less prepared. And it's not like it's just any exam, is it? No. It's my first fucking final. I am so dead. It's at times like this that throwing myself under a speeding car seems like the easy way out. Oh Lord. I'm getting a third. A third at best. Noooo! I can't handle this. I've already eaten a bag of Quavers and a Milky Way this morning because of the pressure. Great. 2 hours. In 2 hours I will be in that fucking exam hall. Ugh. Pens, papers, desks, silence. Shi-i-i-i-it. I'm going to get a third and it's going to be all my own fault.