Travelling Expenses Day

I wish I was a celebrity so I could demand that shops were closed to the public while I browsed. Particularly Primark, because that's always full of people who walk too slowly and take up whole aisles while they uummm and aaaahh over every £3 black t-shirt they walk past (just fucking buy it!). The public ruin every shopping trip I go on. Someone recently pointed out to me that while a person can be nice, people are always cunts. Very true.

There was a stripy skirt I wanted. Typically it was on a rack that was practically floor level, all the hangers were tangled up together mixed in with 10 other types of non-stripy skirts. I hate when shopping gets too much like hard work. It's why I hate sale racks. Shopping should be easy and leisurely, no effort required. But...I wanted the skirt. So I had to get down on my hands and knees and prove to the Gods of shopping just how much I wanted it. It wasn't easy, trying to hang on to my other bags and the big handful of clothes I'd already randomly selected on the way round (I really should start using a basket in that shop). It was a struggle, but eventually I stood up triumphantly with the last size 14 (hopefully the last size 14 item I ever buy before my slimming takes off) stripy skirt clutched to my chest. After all that I kind of expected all the other shoppers to have been watching the action, silently cheering me on, and as I looked around, dazed by the bright lights, I wondered for a second why they weren't breaking into applause. Of course, they hadn't even noticed.